Mariella Gattini

I’m a woman, one who didn’t have much support in the pursuit of her dreams growing up, but who managed to keep her head up and away from hatred and cruelty. I’m a woman, and although the feminist movement didn’t do much for me, I was able to keep inside my spirit of independence and self-reliance.

It’s not easy to be a woman, many things get in the way of what we want to accomplish, many people want a piece of us, on the every day basis, every second of our existence. However, what drift us apart from ourselves and our dreams the most is our own perception of how things should be. While I don’t think we are victims of society, in the same way that I don’t think men are the culprits of our under-appreciation, I certainly believe that we have allowed other people to make the decisions for us for too long, out of empathy, out of our own need for a strong relationship with the world.

Women are diverse in every sense, some are straight, other gay, and of every color, size, and background. There are good women, and there are mean ones, too. For all those reasons, no woman can speak for everyone, and no movement is big or important enough to represent them all. The way we can help ourselves, and our contemporaries, is to become aware of our own individual value, so that we can begin to appreciate other women.

Much of the pain, hatred, and misunderstanding around has its roots in the lack of self-esteem most women suffer from. Therefore, the only way to break that vicious circle is to retrieve from the world for a moment to be able to focus on who we are and the intrinsic value that our lives contain. I’m not talking about going for a vanity trip somewhere, or for an egotistic self-discovering. It’s about a sincere and direct internal look at who we really are—with all our imperfections—never forgetting the value that we can add just by being exactly who we are. Because when we do that, our real inner goodness comes to the surface, one that helps to create new opportunities for friendship, connection, and true human relations.

What I’m proposing is not a dream, or a need for perfection. Life is better than perfect; life is raw, random, unpredictable, sometimes wonderful—sometimes dreadful. It has all the elements that reality brings, and yet, it gives us the opportunity we need, every time, every moment. Looking from deep inside, where nothing is perfect, and projecting this appreciation from deep down can help not only ourselves but everyone else around, because when you are able to love yourself, and most important, forgive yourself, you are ready to love and forgive others and their imperfections.

The reason I’m talking about us women is because we live in a world of imperfect people trying to be perfect—an impossible feat. In my view, the only way to overcome that fallacy is to value ourselves. It’s actually pretty easy to do, we only need to be aware of where we find ourselves in a particular second, and of the extraordinary opportunity we have to keep going on our own, giving our best. No one is too big, or too small; no one is too this, or too that. Everybody and everything make sense in the realm of all things, because each one of us has an intrinsic value and contains an absolute truth. We all are part of something bigger, and everyone is an elemental part of a whole. Nobody can be missed, not even if we die, as it usually happens with our temporal existence. Our essence, our value is out there, together with everybody else’s, and we are all invited. We only need to close our eyes and allow our goodness to come to the surface, connecting with all those around, living and dead. Always with the eye on the ball, we are women, who need to create their own rules.

The world is going to be different, and so much better, with us women being the ones we really are, away from how things have been, stirring the boat toward a different direction, where everything is possible, and where there are no boundaries for creativity.

How I wish to see more happy women, doing what they love, being who they choose to be, far away from those societal impositions that hinder their development. I hope to see that before I go. For the moment, I’m doing my part, I’m daring to be who I am away from how things have been for me. I dare to follow my own path, as unpredictable as it may become, ready to face what is coming, certain and proud of my own identity.