Mariella Gattini

If you’re thinking of being an independent woman, with your own business, and of making your own decisions, be prepared to be considered “narcissistic”, “a walking selfie”, “spoiled”, and the worst of all for any woman:“Unlikable.” Even by other women. If you are a man described with exactly the same characteristics, you might even end up in the White House.

The new Netflix Original Series, GirlBoss, created by Kay Cannon, based on the book of the same title by Sophia Amoruso, is making waves that I hope make people think, especially girls and women.

The main character, Sophia, is portrayed by the brilliant Britt Robertson, who I saw for the first time in Dan in Real Life, a movie that I really recommend, because it’s very realistic and has a positive spin on life.

I’m neither a journalist, nor a reviewer. I’m not even a blogger—I keep this blog only to tell you where my head is at a certain point in my life, so you have a better understanding of who I am as a writer. I write literary fiction in my books. In this piece I just want to emphasize what society expects from women and why GirlBoss is considered such a disgruntled character.

Britt Robertson’s Sophia does whatever she pleases, and for that reason, some have described the character as “unlikable”. She fundamentally departs from the nice little mouse, always spinning the wheel, that society expects a woman to be. If the character were a BoyBoss, doing whatever he pleases, he would be considered naughty, interesting, and with a real entrepreneurial quest. But because she is a woman, anything she does is under heavy scrutiny, since, from that point of view, every female character has the responsibility to be the pillar of the right thing to do in society. The right thing to do being, of course, the ultimate portray of the second fiddle, the fiancee, the supporter, the cheerleader, and in a stable relationship that is going to take her man to success—the pinnacle of every happy ending.

This is not the case, this character wants to take the reins of her life in the only imperfect way she knows how—going against the grain, which is completely unacceptable for anyone used to following somebody else’s rules and thoughts. She represents a threat to everything most women have been groomed to believe. This character is the Devil in the flesh. Well done!

From a literary point of view, characters that seem unlikeable to some are even more interesting than nice little female mice in terms of character development.

Please, don’t make the mistake of confusing Sophia the character with Sophia Amoruso the author of the book. Nothing of the ups and downs of the author’s real life have anything to do with what I’m discussing here. I’m only focusing on the fictional story. Somebody’s personal life is nobody’s business.

People, in general, have great difficulty knowing the difference between reality and fiction, and in order to stop the confusion in their heads, they prefer to make free associations, short, cheap analyses of plots, characters, and of the real people those plots and characters are based on, which can have a serious repercussion for the ones criticized. It’s important to make the distinction between analyzing the argument and the person in question.

I just focus on the argument that the fictional character brings up. In this case, the character is named Sophia and the argument is the fact that she is disagreeable to some. She is certainly not unlikeable to me, because I’m not in a position to judge her. I know how hard it is out there for anyone, even more so for women, to create something out of nothing. And it is harder for women because they have greater difficulties to be taken seriously. They are judged for the way they look first, and according to that first inspection, the second step is to be accepted only if they fulfill the expectations of the one looking at her.

If the woman is attractive, she is expected to be shallow and prepared to have a good time. If the woman is so-so, according to the judge, she is expected to be efficient, more than any male applicant. And if the woman in question is not considered attractive, she is expected to be used in whatever capacity the one scrutinizing her plans to utilize her.

In my view, looks have nothing to do with who people are inside, and women in particular should, for their own preservation and happiness, care less about how others perceive them, and think—always think—about the kind of creative and constructive endeavor they want to pursue. So, from that perspective, GirlBoss is spot on in the sense that it doesn’t tell you who you are, or what to do with your life. It just tells the story of a woman who makes her own decisions, and who has to accept the consequences of her own determination, whether positive or negative.

Acknowledging success is as difficult as accepting failure, and equally stressful. But you have to bear in mind that success and failure always go hand in hand, and if you want to create something new out of nothing you most probably are going to fail more than you are going to succeed. The best way to weather the storms, and develop resilience, is to look inward and see that even if you fail you are still there, and as long as you have your health, you will always have a new opportunity to start afresh. As long as there is life, there is a new day where the sun rises once more to keep illuminating your new ideas and strategies.

If you want to have a creative, independent life, never stop, never surrender to the ones set in their ways. They don’t do it on purpose. They are just afraid of following their own path, so, to be free from scrutiny, they put their best efforts into stopping everybody else. Their lives are not easy either. It’s difficult to live the life of a follower too. It means that you have to deny yourself many things in order to fulfill the expectations of those you think have your life in their hands. That’s very hard, and sad.

Being independent doesn’t mean you have to be on your own. It just means that you have to be strong and resilient enough to keep going in the direction only you define, and open to listening to others, always open to what life has to offer.