Mariella Gattini

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines fart as the vulgar expression of its meaning: “To expel intestinal gas from the anus.” That’s a fact. I agree, the use of the word fart is vulgar, but in this case it is the best word to show what is happening right now. The vulgarity of our times is so evident that there is nothing else to do other than take it by the horns in order to display its deplorable, contemptible existence.

The most obvious representation of all vulgarity in this country is Mr. Fart.

Today, in the political, economic times we are living in, farts aren’t considered just farts. They occupy high political positions, and they have relevance in business, even—or especially—in show business. They appear on TV congratulating themselves or other farts for how far they have come, how relatable they are, and for how many followers they have. Some people think they are comedic, ridiculous, and even irrelevant. But that is a minority.

Most people follow them, congratulate them, and even write long appendages in their social media feeds about the difference a particular fart has made in their lives.

Farts consider themselves superior to everyone else—after all they are on TV all the time—and have no commitment to anyone whatsoever, since they think that because they are out there for everyone to see, they already are making a contribution to society.

That’s the reality show we are living in. We have all been taken by our private parts, and some are complaining, enough to keep their jobs and followers, but not that much so they don’t provoke a serious retaliation from the other side, that is to say, the fart side.

Old farts are similar to young farts in the sense that both groups come from a generation of people who don’t understand anything other than what they are used to, and have no clue about the sacrifices made by their previous generation. They don’t know anything about history, economics, art, science, and the consequences of facts. Facts are so elusive in their world that they believe they are mere hallucinations. Most of them, because of their downright ignorance, consume junk of all kinds that they transform into acts of physical or verbal abuse.

What are they afraid of? Basically, they are afraid of losing money and their relevance in public opinion polling, so they would say or do the most outrageous things to keep their audience’s interest in them. And because of today’s audiences’ need for the display of raw, human struggle—worse than theirs, so they can feel better about themselves—farts, somehow, manage to command primetime audiences’ attention.

The worst thing you can do to a fart is to ignore it. Two things can happen if you do just that, it can deflate on its own and pass as the stinky air that it is, or can use another channel—or TV network—to keep pushing for attention. It relishes attention.

Nevertheless, we have to remind ourselves that, in view of all circumstances, a fart is just a fart; there is no need to put it on a pedestal, or to give it more relevance that it deserves.

We find ourselves in this predicament because this country is full of farts seeking representation, and it’s true, farts are human, whether we like it or not, but one thing is certain—they don’t have the ability to rule our lives, unless we let them.

Yes, it’s true we are full of farts, but our farts don’t prevent us from thinking with our own heads, going forward with our plans, facing new challenges, implementing new ideas, creating new worlds, and inventing a more sustainable future.

We have to deal with this human predicament in a positive and constructive way thinking that everything is temporary, that everything passes, especially gas. That’s a fact.

When we tell stories, with no agenda in mind, we are not bending the facts, we are making facts even more relevant, because they can be compelling and can lead us to a better understanding of ourselves. And it may happen that we don’t like what we see. Unfortunately, it’s the only way to improve, to mend it, to make it better for ourselves and for everyone else.

The fact is that our political and economic landscape is deplorable right now, but it’s also true that we can turn things around. It has been done before in history, the one in books, but also in the history of our own families that nobody knows because it is not in books. We know who they were and how they ended up, but we also know how they turned things around over and over until their last breath. It can be done, because it has been done.

The Merriam-Webster dictionary also defines fart as “a foolish or contemptible person, (often vulgar).” In this society right now, a fart is not just a fart, it’s Mr. Fart, and some people still have it on a pedestal.