Mariella Gattini

Writing is far more than typing the whims of the day. You do just that as an exercise you keep to yourself in preparation for the real story to tell. Good writers know that. In other words, writing is not there for you to vent your most vicious expletives in order to do harm.

Unfortunately, today we see too many examples of bad writing that conveys the worst ways to live and to relate. The writers and readers of today are the victims of a failed American educational system and parenting that have been in vogue the past forty years, whose main tenets have been the following:

1) Be yourself: Kids are in a constant development, telling them to be who they are is confusing and irresponsible. As a consequence, they grow up thinking that nobody matters but themselves. Besides, you don’t ask a prick to be himself, do you?

2) Anything you do must be accepted and praised—participant awards come to mind—and if that doesn’t happen, it’s everybody else’s fault.

3) You should do what you love, which translates into “I’m gonna do whatever I feel like.” By the way, “do what you love” have been manipulated by companies, so they don’t pay their employees what they should—having them as interns—or they pay them the minimum possible. After all, it does not look like work, because “they are doing what they love.”

4) And finally, are you feeling depressed? Aw! Take your pills! (Meaning: Stop bothering me.) Feeling sad or disappointed is part of life. Medication is only justified in case of serious mental illness. The problem is that the majority wants to solve their troubled relationships with pills, as an easy and immediate way out.

As a consequence, we are surrounded by young, not so young, and very old, sociopaths, who have been groomed to behave with entitlement by the book, literally.

When people are faced with the first few pages of certain publicly acclaimed books, they think that that must be literature, and that’s the way they should write to obtain similar success. If they realized they have been brain-washed to believe certain books are real literature and forgot everything they’ve learned, then they would be much better writers.

Good writers get lost in their stories. Who they are as authors and what they think don’t matter to them. The story, the plot, the characters, and the tension compel us to see who we are as human beings and what we are capable of as a whole.

It’s true that being a good writer doesn’t make you a good person. But sociopaths, or psychopaths, are necessarily manipulative, bad-intentioned writers and their work yields nothing but lack of empathy and emptiness. (The difference between a sociopath and a psychopath lies in that the latter has more education. Neither of them is more intelligent than the average population.)

When writing—assuming writers and their audiences are a group of individuals who use logic and empathy to connect with the real world and with other reasonable groups of individuals—writers should use their own head but always keeping their audiences in mind, because they all matter in equal proportion.

I have to recognize that the problem goes beyond writers and readers and what they are looking for. We are dealing with a troubled society lost in its own hedonism. The pursuit of pleasure and things is now, more than ever, the most important goal in everyone’s mind. Therefore, a book that strives for asceticism is not going to cut it in the book markets of today. Unless it’s a book about dieting, which ultimately leads to the pleasure of a supposedly more attractive body.

It’s very common to find that kind of artist in this country today. The ones so busy trying to attract attention to their work, and so caught up in themselves, that they even forget what they are talking about losing themselves in circular explanations of who they are and what they do. Their audience is of no importance to them; they want everybody’s attention, period. What matters is to cause an impact with no contemplation for its consequences. The most important thing is to strike gold. Nothing of extending the boundaries of human reasoning and empathy, which on their lips it’s just a pitch of empty words.

Real writing happens when the author captures human nature in a way that is compelling, interesting, and thoughtful. In a story that shows our struggles and our flaws, but also the way we choose to be happy. The pursuit of happiness is still valid because happiness and pleasure are two different things. We don’t find personal pleasure in somebody else’s talent, we feel happy for them, because, in a way, we see ourselves reflected in that talent. Real happiness is not given by sensual interactions or fabricated sensations. Real joy is in what we are able to accomplish as individuals and together as a team. Not in a false, cheesy rhetoric, but in a true connection that allows us to grow and expand our view of who we are and, most important, of who we can be.

My advice?

1) Be authentic, truthful, open, and kind. I know, in some circumstances it’s very hard, but you can do it. Trust yourself. If the situation is too awful—verbally, I mean—bite your tongue. Don’t add insult to injury.

2) Not everything you do needs to be considered a masterpiece honored per saecula saeculorum (forever and ever).

3) Do the right thing, choose something to do that goes along with your abilities and goals. Most importantly, you don’t need to be the center of attention all the time. If you do, you are a horrible human being. There is no hope for you.

4) Are you feeling depressed? Welcome to the world of the living. It sucks, but you can find in your brain ways to cope until you find a solution to your problem. In the meantime, do not inhale, swallow, or inject anything into your body for “recreational purposes”; it doesn’t help, and it makes it worse, because your body is not made of rubber; it’s a delicate work of art.

Whatever your problem is, please don’t vent. Write it down, and put it away. Talk to a love one about it if you want. You are going to see that when you calm down things are going to look different. Please, don’t “share” it with the public. Everybody else is dealing with their own problems, and not everyone listening has the best of intentions. I know, that’s something that has been instilled in your brain with all those “self-help” TV programs, where people go to whine, because it’s cheaper than therapy.

And finally, if you have a real mental health issue, please seek help, and do not stop until you find the right professional for you.

If you decide to become a good writer, I wish you my best. I hope you are one of those rare artists, who adds something positive to our world, because we need you now more than ever, and the more the merrier.

It’s not going to be easy, but nothing that you set up yourself to do with honesty and proficiency is. Patience, resilience, and empathy are your best allies.