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Stupro

October 24, 2017

 

The allegations of sexual abuse against Harvey Weinstein are, apparently, too real. According to the women who have had the experience of working with him, or around him, they have known how he operates for a long time. Some of them have also warned other women not to get near him, because he is not considered a good man.

I don’t know how he is going to get out of this one. Most probably, he is going to pay his way out, because there is a different kind of justice for people with money in this country. That’s the main reason why many women do not complain and go forward with their lives the best they can, because the burden of proof is all on them, which leads them to be under the disgraceful scrutiny of public opinion. That’s a heavy weight on their shoulders, one that can wear them down for years.

Nevertheless, the behavior of this individual should still serve as an example of what happens everywhere in the workplace. In the U.S. there is an implicit, subliminal understanding in the mind of most men. Women are to be liked only if they accept the rules imposed onto them, rules dictated by men. Hollywood itself is designed based on the general view of men being perceived as strong, and women likable. Those main premises are at the core of Hollywood standards. Why? Because the production of a movie is expensive so they do both — give people what they think they want, so they make sure they make money, and by doing so, they perpetuate that twisted vision even further down the line, which brings us to an even more elemental point. What is it that we want when we go see a movie?

Maybe we want to see a better version of ourselves in beautiful women, abiding by whatever storyline was designed for us so we keep being subservient in our role of beauty and kindness. And, perhaps, by simply accepting going to the movies, we also contribute to this general idea of how women should be perceived.

Stupro, or rape, is also a question of class. People like Harvey Weinstein are not going to mess with women in power like Meryl Streep. This kind of predators take advantage of people who they perceive as weak, whether male or female. It’s not a question of seeking sexual satisfaction; it’s a question of power.

The most disgusting people of all are the ones who could do something and instead choose to be silent. They are as guilty as the ones committing the crime and deserve no mercy, no matter who they are.

Women and men have been victims of rape for a long time. The worst part is that nobody wants to talk about it. It is shameful, it pushes us to be aware of the deprave side of human behavior, and for that reason we tend to reject it by evading it. And the victims, who could come forward with physical evidence, suffer from a lack of self-esteem and depression so acute that it is daunting for them to come to terms with what to do next.

Years ago I saw the 1960’s Italian movie Two Women. It’s about how a mother, portrayed by Sophia Loren, and her twelve-year-old daughter are gang-raped by a group of Moroccan soldiers of the French Army during World War II in Italy. In Italian the movie is called La Ciociara, directed by Vittorio De Sica, and based on the book by Alberto Moravia and his experiences during World War II.

I remember the deep impact the story had in me. Apart from the rape itself, which I should warn you is very graphic, what most impressed me was the way the two women kept going forward.

I’ve never being in a situation like that, but what I’ve learned from victims I know is something very fundamental — what happens to us is not the important thing, what is crucial is to understand that nobody can ever take away the joy of being who we truly are, no matter how hard they try. We have an intrinsic value that goes beyond our sexuality or gender, beyond any physical or mental impairment, beyond our social status, and beyond any hardship we may face in life. That intrinsic value is immutable, the only agent able to change it is ourselves, deep inside.

Con-men and predators may get away with the crimes they commit, but they do not get to define who their victims are and the culture they are in, as long as we, as a society, are there to eradicate them, both personally and publicly.

This is not about getting even, or justice, this is a question of reclaiming the innocence we once had, and still have the strength to believe that there are others, in other worlds, who are different, different and good. In that way, we also reclaim this world for those who have being hurt, for ourselves, and for the ones who contribute to true human development.

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