Mariella Gattini

I’ve been thinking long and hard about the recent main events that have had a big impact on us as a population, and as humankind.

I’ve realized that people like me are misunderstood or not trusted at all for a very simple reason: Today nobody does anything for others without expecting something in return, or without an ulterior motive that can be translated into the cashing in of some money or personal fulfillment of some sort.

It’s almost inadmissible to think that somebody would write a book or a blog without a machiavellian thought behind the pursuit.

I’ve been naively writing my heart out to an audience that I perceive now as obsessed with money, fame, and even notoriety. The important thing is to be noticed, somehow.

It is a depressing thought that has kept me from posting on my blog for over three months. What is the purpose of a place like the one I’ve created, where everyone in my audience is considered an integral part of this communication and is respected and even cherished every time, if what I write about sounds “not practical”?

Every day there is a new con perpetrated somewhere, the criminals get minimal jail time, or do not get to pay for their crimes at all. Furthermore, they are even compensated somehow, with so much attention put into their cons.

I would like to be very clear, I’m not a victim in all this, I’m just too candid and too sincere for this type of communication. I believe I would be much more “credible” if I created a persona around me. That would probably catch the attention of many. Or if I considered this blog an opportunity to “entertain” people navigating bigger problems, like the death of a sibling, a terminal illness, the loss of a job, or of a relationship.

Nobody would actually believe someone like me, there to analyze and get to the bottom of things just for the sake of our own well-being, as a group, as a community, as human beings.

The others are too many to count, and are overwhelming the system. Nobody believes anything anymore, except for the religious kind, who are holding onto their beliefs more than ever, even if it’s obviously going against themselves and their own survival.

Con-men, and con-women, are thriving and applauded, and play with deep words like conscience, which sounds very much like chewing gum in their mouths. Great initiatives such as meditation, yoga, exercise, and good eating practices have been reduced to cults and to the following of specific “gurus” with dollar signs in their eyes, in their demeanors, and especially in their words.

The pitch is always the same: “Let go of your personal reservations, close your eyes, open your heart, I got you. By the way, that money, the one in your pocket, would be of much better use in mine. Give it to me. I got you.”

I’m not cynical enough to say that everyone is the same, that everyone is out there just for themselves. I believe that of course each one of us has the obligation to take care of ourselves first, so that we are better prepared to face the world and our intervention in it. But, still, there is something wonderful when we take matters in our own hands and do participate in the development of a new era without neglecting ourselves in the process. And that only can happen when we come together. For that reason, I’m discouraged again. I don’t see that happening. Not really.

The majority of people with a con mentality suffer from mental illness. The sense of self has been profoundly damaged at some point in their lives, so much so, that they see others as their enemy; one to take advantage of. No money is good enough, so they keep up with their cons, because money never solves the disconnect located deep in their minds. They don’t have time for empathy, because that would slow them down. They’ve learned that all that matters in this world is money. People bow to money, therefore they would bow to them in veneration too as a result. That’s their rationale.

The con-man and the con-woman choose a grandiose image of themselves on the outside and look down to people of lower class, a class they generally come from. They are selective, and use all the technology and information at their disposal to encircle their victims. They also have a distorted sense of the consequences of their behavior because they do not consider themselves important enough, so they think they can go under the radar for longer and with minimal damage done. Once they are caught they refer to their crimes as “mistakes”. Exactly, because the big mistake was that of being caught.

Remember the movie As Good As It Gets where the character interpreted by Helen Hunt is trying to write a letter and finds it difficult to spell the word conscience? She says something like: “…con-science? That can’t be…”. I’m here to tell you that it can and there is an entire industry behind it—the science of the con.

Would I recommend it? Of course not. As damaged as we can be, we can keep going on left to our own devices. No con is necessary in the making of our lives, as crude and cruel as it can be. Because we are more valuable than money, believe it or not. Even the most boring and simplest of lives is a miracle and worth living, no matter the relevance in our social context. How important we are for others is not the question. The main idea is to find meaning and value in who we are first, so we can truly be of value for others. There lies the deep satisfaction— a loving, rich sense of self, connected to everyone else, going in the same direction in all our diversity, for the sake of our well-being. And it is very practical because it’s all in your head. In other words, it only depends on you. By the way, keep your money in your pocket, you’re going to need it.

Not into people? I doubt it. I do not believe you in all consciousness.